discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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