Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Randomize
