Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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