life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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