I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Congratulations! We have a period
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