I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
