I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I skipped work to stalk him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize