I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
