So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize