she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
