I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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