hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
