i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
