Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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