Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
