yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize