they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
