Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
