I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
