Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Girls should come with a carfax report
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
