I accidentally had phone sex last night
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
