i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize