All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
But break dance skills will only take you so far
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
