wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
