So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
