yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
