Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
