Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
