last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize