no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it because I queefed?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
