I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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