Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
