it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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