I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
