So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
