new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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