Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
