I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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