Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
