my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
