Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just gift wrapped bread.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
