Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize