I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do vagina's smell?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
