It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
