porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
