I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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