my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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