Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
