Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
