this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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