I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
