There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
