Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that's an acceptable place to lick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
