just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
