Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
