Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
