Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
