Pappa wants mamma naked
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
