The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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