meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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