How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i think i just lost a toe
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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